


wanna be so real

by scepticallyopenminded



Series: 15 day lyrics challenge - 2k18 [13]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Rosa Diaz, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Episode: s05e09 99, Episode: s05e10 Game Night, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-17 23:13:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16983612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scepticallyopenminded/pseuds/scepticallyopenminded
Summary: But, well, now it’s five years later. They’ve got a new captain, and a lot (a lot) has happened in the last five years. She was briefly engaged and almost married, and she’s closer to the squad than she is with most of her friends. They know more about her than she thinks they even realize, and like Captain Holt said – they’re her family. She spends more time with them than anyone else, and she honestly enjoys and looks forward to going out with them.And now – well, she’s been dating Georgiana for a good chunk of months. Actual months by now, and it’s the longest relationship Rosa’s had with a woman since college. And no matter how much she actually likes the rest of the squad, she’s never gonna be that person who overshares on personal matters and on her love life, so it’s not weird that she hasn’t told any of them about Georgiana yet.





	wanna be so real

**Author's Note:**

> lyrics from "Delicate, Pretty, and Other Things I'll Never Be" by Against Me!: "I wanna be more real than all the others/I wanna be more real than all the rest/I wanna be so real you can't tell the difference"
> 
> It's been one year and nine days since Rosa Diaz came out, and I'm forever crying at the two episodes referenced in this fic. Thank you, B99, for a great bisexual icon. I'll always cherish this character and all about her. I know I didn't quite do her justice in this fic, but I tried and I like it as a little snippet of her life.

Rosa knows she’s not straight in seventh grade. Well, she recognizes _something_ , though that something she’s not really sure of, and it’s actually a few years later she realizes exactly _what_ it is; she’s bisexual.

It’s honestly a relief and a great feeling, recognizing that she’s not alone in this and that she’s totally normal. It’s one thing to grow up in New York, because growing up in a big city like this has made her more aware of the ins and outs of the human experience, including knowing that not everyone is straight.

She’s still happy when she realizes she’s not alone, that there are other people out there like her.

But even though she knows, now, happily will label herself to herself, it’s years still before she tells anyone. It’s not until college, actually, that she says anything to anyone; she ends up dating a girl there for a few months, so her closest friends and her roommate know. It feels okay, but she doesn’t talk about it much. Not because she’s embarrassed, or concerned with her image, not to these people who she’ll probably never see again after college, but because she’s a private person and it just doesn’t need to be said.

The police academy, though, is something completely different. It’s not particularly strenuous, but she still doesn’t have a lot of time to date at all. She does meet some people she becomes friends with, which is nice; Jake, and Ermina, and Becks. They’re all a little older than her (she’d graduated college a bit early, at twenty-one, and immediately gone into the academy afterward) but they’re good, fun. Easy to go out drinking with them after a long day of classes, easy to hit the gym with them. None of them want to talk to her about personal stuff, and she’s perfectly happy with that.

Her time as a beat cop is just as easy, too; she’s happy enough in the eight-one and she likes her coworkers as much as she’s liked any coworkers she’s ever had. She does stick mostly to the two friends who followed her back to New York after college, and when she goes out with her squad they’re all relatively young and it’s mostly about drinking and dancing. Her partner Melody is quiet and contemplative, and they don’t talk much about personal matters, so it’s fine.

She’s twenty-seven when she takes the detectives exam. She doesn’t excel but does pass pretty heftily, and by the time she’s twenty-eight she’s a detective at the eight-one. One year later, she’s moved over to the nine-nine, only to find that her old academy buddy Jake is a detective there too, and – wow, yeah, she’s happy to be here. There’s also Amy, who’s a little uptight but a good detective; Charles, who’s clearly into her but works hard on all his cases; Hitchcock and Scully, who’re…unique, and know everything about the precinct, having been here for decades. Sergeant Jeffords is commanding but kind and does everything he can to help his detectives, and Captain McGintley assigns cases fairly and stays out of the way.

Everyone’s easy to get along with and nobody seems overly interested in getting to know her or be overly involved in her personal life.

But, well, now it’s five years later. They’ve got a new captain, and a lot (a _lot_ ) has happened in the last five years. She was briefly engaged and almost married, and she’s closer to the squad than she is with most of her friends. They know more about her than she thinks they even realize, and like Captain Holt said – they’re her family. She spends more time with them than anyone else, and she honestly _enjoys_ and looks forward to going out with them.

And now – well, she’s been dating Georgiana for a good chunk of months. Actual months by now, and it’s the longest relationship Rosa’s had with a woman since college. And no matter how much she actually likes the rest of the squad, she’s never gonna be that person who overshares on personal matters and on her love life, so it’s not _weird_ that she hasn’t told any of them about Georgiana yet.

But there’s a part, stuffed in the back of her mind that only crawls out occasionally, that’s asking _when_ it might be time. That’s asking _if_ she were to get married to Georgiana, or to any woman, would she even be willing to invite the squad to the wedding? And well; yeah, she would. But also, that would involve _having_ to talk about her love life, and –

Again, she’s not ashamed, or concerned with her image, and she knows without a doubt that everyone she’s close to would at least be _okay_ with it. It’d be a hell of a lot easier to tell them than it would be her parents ( _that’s_ another road she’s not going down, not right now, especially not with how close she’s become to her parents since jail). But there’s also something incredibly scary about _coming out_. There just is.

So she’s thinking about all that when the shit suddenly goes down. When they’re travelling back from McGintley’s funeral and everything happens and then they’re suddenly stuck on the Boyle Ranch, and it’s the first time since her hotel room she’s had a moment alone. She gives Georgiana a call.

Things are going well until suddenly Boyle is there, two glasses of water in hand and she pushes the phone away from her face.

Of course Georgiana has to be the sweet, concerned girlfriend right then, speaking up real quick and when Boyle asks Rosa makes a quick excuse –

“It’s my sister.”

She can _see_ Boyle’s gears turning, and, “Wait…she called you babe. When my cousin called me babe, you said relatives shouldn’t do that. What’s really going on?”

Rosa takes a moment, pauses, unsure of the next thing that’s going to come out of her mouth and it’s almost without her permission, the “I’m dating a woman,” that _does_. And when Charles stares, stunned, she continues with, “I’m bi.”

There’s the terrifying reality she’d been waiting for, with telling someone she’s so close to, that she works with, that she considers a _good_ friend. The shock, the face, but also; the relief, in her own body, of having put it out on record now. She _told_ someone on the squad, and her world isn’t instantaneously burning around her.

Not that Boyle’s “Oh…that’s great! That’s great, Ro, I just want you to know that I totally support – ”

“I don’t,” Rosa starts, shaking her head, interrupting Boyle’s rambling which is not what she wants, right now, “Wanna talk about it right now. Just leave it alone, Boyle.”

And she escapes down the stairs as quickly as she can, leaving Charles up there on the landing to take it all in. She needs to do the same, though she knows Boyle is the most supportive friend in the universe and everything he said was _true_. It’s just a lot.

She waits until the next evening, as they’re all at _Shaw’s_ , before approaching him again.

“It actually felt really good to tell somebody on the squad, finally,” she tells him, cracking a bit of a smile when she sees Charles’ bright one, “I’m glad it was you.”

“All right,” Boyle responds, clinking her glass, and of course because she’s _Rosa_ , she can’t help but continue with the, “Also, now we go back to never talking about my love life again.”

And, because he’s _Charles_ , he immediately hits it off with, “Uh, request denied,” and goes off trying to guess her name.

Rosa rolls her eyes, and tries to hide the smile on her face as she takes a drink.

And a week and a half later, after the briefing when Captain Holt asks if there’s anything else, she stands.

“Uh, yes. Something I’d like to say.”

She glances at Boyle, and it’s enough to get her through the rest of it.

She’s known since seventh grade, and now, she’s comfortable with everyone else knowing, too.

**Author's Note:**

> find me at [asocialfoxpaw](http://asocialfoxpaw.tumblr.com)
> 
> don't post my stuff on goodreads or like sites
> 
> as always constructive criticism welcome, this did not get well edited at all. <3


End file.
